blog, Blogger, BLOGGEST

Since I started writing regularly years ago, I found that inspiration emerges whenever it wants. I write every day, but it may not always be interesting enough to share. But, if anything, the compulsive bloggers in a recent New York Times article make me feel better about myself! So click on that link for the dirt on the blog-obsessed. Or, if you don't feel like registering or logging in, you can also read the article at IHT.

On the other carpal tunnel syndrome-addled hand, a recent CNN article focused on dispelling the time-sucking myth. "The impression out there is that a lot of the blog activity is very feverish," said Lee Rainie, the Pew project's director. "That's not the case. For most bloggers, it's not an all-consuming, all-the-time kind of experience." Blog-slaves rejoice and read all about it at CNN.

- posted by Hal Miller @ 2:05 PM |

 
THE JEWBIRDS OF HERALD SQUARE (AND EVERYWHERE)

They come in the fall, descending like crows, swooping down when I least expect it. They fly in, dressed in head-to-toe black and surround me. No, this is not some violent fantasy from The Matrix where I battle 100 Agent Smiths. This is a threat far deadlier. These are young men who have devoted their lives to God and refuse to take “No” for an answer.

If you live and/or work in Manhattan and look even remotely of Eastern European decent, they will demand to know:

“ARE YOU JEWISH??”

Like Agent Smith, there are many, and they are unstoppable.

My answer to their string-pulled question happens to be, “Yes, I am Jewish.” But my reply, in turn, begs the additional question: Do I want to announce it to the world?

NO!!

Unfortunately, I never have a witty response prepared for this unwelcome violation of personal space and dignity. They always catch me by surprise. It's October and the autumn light gives the city an unspeakable energy and beauty. Just like every year since I stopped going to Hebrew school, I don't know when Succot is. Overwhelmed with the fall colors, I leave work and forget to slap on my headphones/social armor. I’m a goner.

It’s not long before I feel a presence by my side and, from the pit of my stomach I know that I’ve made a huge mistake by not running from where I stand. I look into the bearded face of a very Jewish man, sporting standard-issue God-garb. He has already coiled back like a deadly snake, and is now springing forward to make the kill.

Very abruptly, in that quick, nasal New York Jewish voice, he asks, no, DEMANDS, to know if I’m Jewish. This, of course, startles me, sending me into what is known as the “fight or flight.” Having numbers in their favor, flight is the only option. “No!” I croak, and duck into the nearest subway.

There are those unfortunate souls who have stood up to the Hebrew Horde and shot back with “Yes! As a matter of fact, I AM Jewish.” I’ve stood and watched in amazement as the bearded predators thrust a deadly lulav-and-etrog combo into one man’s bosom before he could finish his sentence. Barely a breath escaped the victim’s mouth, his head raised and eyebrows arched in an affirming gesture that he would soon regret. The man’s own body language became his undoing as he found himself trapped in an embarrassing public spectacle.

The irony here is that these robotic crusaders of the Jewish Diaspora are undoing all of the hard work accomplished by our semi-assimilated ancestors. They are “outing” us in public, on the street. They are doing more harm than good by reaching inside of us and pulling out what we sometimes hide, sometimes loathe, but will always love; they are the Jewbirds of Herald Square.

(originally posted 5.11.04)
- posted by Hal Miller @ 1:51 PM |

 
TWEET-TWEET

Many things in life annoy me. Let's take whistling. Not only is the actual sound extremely irritating (after all, who can really whistle that well?), the selection is usually absolute crap. As I write this, someone in my office is whistling "Old McDonald," and I'm thinking about smashing his head in a wave of mutilation. The thought of brain, teeth and bloody bone flying about the office sounds much more appealing than enduring even one more second of off-key, ear canal-violating lip-screeching.

You know what? I know how to whistle. But I don't whistle. You know why?

Because it's F***ING ANNOYING!!!

(originally posted 5.18.04)
- posted by Hal Miller @ 1:51 PM |

 
PIGLET


I love the word PIG-let!

A PIGLET is a baby pig!

The pink PIGLETS suckled from their sow mother's udders.

PIGLETS at play!

Piggily-wiggily, piggily-pooh.

Piggles McGiggles.

Pah-Pah-Piggles. I mean, PIGLET.

PIG-LET!

(originally posted 5.6.04)
- posted by Hal Miller @ 1:50 PM |

 
PASS THE POTASSIUM, PLEASE

Saw somethin’ funny on the L train to work today. As everyone was pushing to get into the car, I felt a hand gently clap my shoulder. An older Black gentleman squeezed by everyone, "'Scuze me, ‘Scuze me ..." Anyway, a forty-something Puerto Rican woman turned around as he pushed by, and handed him a banana!

It was just like she was handing off a baton at a race. In this case, the rat race, but with a banana instead of cheese. I decided not to ask her why she handed him the banana, preferring to create my own scenario.

Juana Rodriguez’s neighbor Joseph Peajan sometimes forgets to eat breakfast on the way to wherever he works in the city. Being that he was dressed casually in a track jacket, t-shirt and jeans, he is most likely a social worker or a gym teacher/coach of some sort. Anyway, kindly Mrs. Rodriguez looks out for her neighbors. Hence, her helpful hand-off. I guess there ARE some nice people out there.

(originally posted 5.7.04)
- posted by Hal Miller @ 1:50 PM |

 
MORE ANGRY WHITE BOY MUSIC FOR YOU TO BE ANGRY AND WHITE ABOUT

Joan Jett said it best: I LO--VE ROCK N’ ROLL! If you share this sentiment, and you listen to Fugazi, Refused, The Pixies, Quicksand, Glassjaw, Helmet, Jawbox, Tool, The Cure and early ‘Maiden and MetalliFuckin'ca, then Brooklyn’s Tear Us Apart may just rock your world (Yeah, I’m in the fucking band). We played a very loud and very thunderstruck show at Plaid here in NYC last Friday, and have more "gut-crunching" gigs coming up in the New York area. Stay tuned, stay informed … head over to TearUsApart.com to join the TUA Army!

(originally posted 5.7.04)
- posted by Hal Miller @ 1:50 PM |

 
THE PIXIES REUNITED! FUGAZI ON HIATUS!

THE PIXIES have been touring for a few weeks now, taking it day-by-day, show-by-show, from what I understand. The ‘80s alt-rock legends played the five-year-old Coachella Festival among a handful of other gigs so far, and will eventually make it up here, where that underwater guy who controlled the sea got killed by ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey. They’re playing the second day of Lollapalooza at New York’s shitty dustbowl Randall’s Island (bring a gas mask, I'm not kidding) and also at NJ’s Tweeter Center. They will return in December, according to various sources. The cool thing about these reunion shows is that you can purchase CD’s of said gigs right there at the venue after the show and also online at Disclive.com.

Image courtesy of 4AD Records.

How’s that for immediate gratification?

And speaking of live CD’s, FUGAZI bassist Joe Lally has made a bunch of live Fugazi recordings available at FugaziLiveSeries.com. I like the photo on the first page, because I was there shooting right on the stage. They let you do that. Very punk-rock.

Fugazi Live at Wash., DC's SYLVAN THEATER, photo by Pat Graham.

For those wondering what’s up with the DC post-punk quartet, Fugazi remains on hiatus while the band members work on other things. Here’s the scoop from Dischord.com:

Contrary to a flood of recent internet postings, Fugazi has not broken up. Over the years the band has circulated in and out of active recording and touring according to the ebb and flow of their personal lives. Two band members now have families with children and currently their concerns are being put above the band's. As of this moment Fugazi is not actively playing or recording but that doesn't mean the band won't become active again in a year, two or possibly never....such is life.

Members of Fugazi have always made music outside the band and will continue to do so. Ian is currently playing in a duo with Amy Farina (ex-Warmers) called the Evens, Brendan has been playing with Amy Domingues and Jerry Busher in Garland of Hours, Joe recorded an album with Black Sea (now called Decahedron) featuring ex-Frodus members Jason and Shelby, and Guy performed with members of The Ex at a jazz festival in Austria.

Dischord Records mastermind and Fugazi founder Ian MacKaye is playing with his new, more intimate group The Evens – also featuring Amy Farina (Warmers & Ted Leo & The RX) -- at Philly’s First Unitarian Church on Monday, May 10th. “The Evens' setup is reasonably spare: Ian plays baritone guitar, Amy plays drums, and both sing-- usually together. Live, the band sends their vocals through amps rather than using a P.A. creating a quiet but extremely powerful sound.”

So if you happen to be in Philly, you’d be wise to drop by. Visit Dischord.com and R5Productions.com for further info.

(originally posted 5.6.04)
- posted by Hal Miller @ 1:49 PM |