BEAUTIFUL GARBAGE

Living in relatively small quarters with two other guys can get a little cramped, so we never hesitate to toss or donate anything broken or obsolete. I used to drop off bags full of clothing and cassettes at the local Salvation Army, but now all I have to do is leave it in front of my building.

Within minutes of leaving several items on the sidewalk recently, the vultures descended upon said junk from the dark corners of the neighborhood. The rain-soaked, yellowed plastic drawer thing would soon have its drawers filled again, but with someone else’s stuff. That filthy, lint-pregnant vacuum that lived its final days rotting behind the couch would soon be reincarnated as a piece of “found art.” And I don’t know why I wasted my time bundling up those magazines when they would be available for purchase on Bedford Avenue in the morning. If I ever miss anything, all I have to do is walk outside with some change in my pocket.

Old ladies and starving artists (i.e. CT trustafarians) hawk found crap all over Williamsburg every day; you can’t walk two feet without seeing outdated (i.e. ironically hip) clothing from Marshall’s displayed on collapsible tables or hanging from fences like the corpses of murdered injuns.

After the last time I left a bag of clothing off at Salvation Army on Bedford, I imagined a recent college grad whipping out five bucks after "discovering" my holey thrift store sweater I paid 65 cents for in DC ten years ago. He’d probably slip it on before even walking out of the store, clueless to its long, colorful history, just as I was when I bought it myself.

He’d take it home, have his girlfriend sew an ironic Styx patch on it and flip it for $10 at Beacon's Closet or some other hipper-than-thou clothing store. And you just know someone would buy it.

Photos by Hal
- posted by Hal Miller @ 11:39 AM |

 
BANTERIST

Brian Sack is saying what I'm thinking. With Banterist, Sack sweats the small stuff with a dash of X-Treme Bile-flavored Hatorade and a keen eye for observation. Check out his September 16, 2003 entry entitled "Rant: You" and the recent "Notes To Igor On The Occasion Of His Hair Salon Opening" for starters! Then move onto "Greatest Hits" and revel in the misanthropy.

- posted by Hal Miller @ 4:57 PM |